reposting thoughts on love circa 2007

while skimming through my old blog, trying to figure out the title of a book i read a few years ago, i stumbled upon a post of a 22 year old ciara, trying to understand love and relationships through shoes.

yes, shoes. and feet. quite an unlikely metaphor, i admit.

here's the post, proofread but otherwise unaltered:

SHOES AND LOVE

February 21, 2007

i was walking along ayala this morning, semi-trotting (coz im almost late) with a pair of shoes ive only worn for the 4th time since my mom gave it to me. 

during the first 3x, i'd get blisters by [the] day's end because of the material (and the fact that im yet to learn how to "walk it"). people always say that since its new, blisters are expected. your feet should hurt for the first few times you wear them but eventually the material will soften. 

but has anyone ever thought that it's not really that the material has softened after a few uses. maybe after months of abuse, yes, but for the 4th time? did it ever occur to anyone that it might be because our skin becomes tougher and that the pain becomes tolerable? since you love the shoes you are wearing, you wont notice how much pain it causes. the credit therefore is not to the shoe, but to the foot that is wearing it.


It all boils down to making choices. you choose to suffer the few days of pain, just until your feet is used to it already that it's almost non-existent.

Just like love. you put your foot into a relationship that you think suits you. you have all this fantasies of the walks you're going to take together, the time you're going to spend in each others company, places you could go, the path to forever. 

but then it hurts you, most of the time, unintentionally. but the first is the most painful, the biggest blister of all. yet you choose to forget about it and go through with it. again it burns your skin, and again, and again, but as time goes by, the pain seem to diminish. you get so used to  it that you dont notice it anymore. you chose to stick with your favorite pair, that's all there is to it.

kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng ibang tao, kahit may oras na nasasaktan ka, masaya ka sa pares mo. para sayo, its a perfect fit.

but love, just like any shoe, needs work - it has to be taken care of. there's a certain amount of  effort to be exerted for it to last. Like your lola's favorite pair of tsinelas, it could look tattered but its the strongest and most comfortable pair in the lot, because although she used it often, she took extra good care of it. 

other shoes, either due to low quality or overuse and abuse, were retired. because it can only take so much. when neglected, if abused, it can lose a heel, can get detached from the sole, or have a hole big enough that you would know if its heads or tails when you step on a coin. its an inevitable casualty.

and the thing is, with love, there's no Mr. Quicky to put it back to shape.

Labels: love drunk, realizations

& our love goes round and round; 2/21/2007 10:54:00 AM